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As I have progressed through medical school, I cannot describe the change that has occurred in me.  Someone taught me about love, and unconditional care, and loss.  I would have sworn to you that I knew these things before, but in the world of the relative, I would be lying.

Before the age of 18 I was in rehab three times, county jail many more than that.  At 18 I was a soldier in the United States Army Infantry, 11B Active duty stationed out of Fort Benning 3rd ID.  I turned 19 in Basic Training and 20 on 48 hour Guard Duty.  When I turned 21 I was in prison, and at 23 I was married.  At 24 I was divorced, and accepted to college.  At 25 I was accepted to The Ohio State University for Biology and Chemistry.  I maintained a 4.0 GPA and was awarded a full academic scholarship.  By 26 I was in three honors organizations, the most prestigious being Golden Key.  At 27 I was doing research for Ohio State Medical Center, now the Wex.  I wrecked a motorcycle on the highway and was in critical condition.  I would take my MCAT just 27 days later, and score in the 84-92nd (estimated) percentile.  When I was 28 I was awarded First Place in Research at The Denman, and inducted into the most famous and honored research society, Sigma Xi, where I joined brothers in ranks such as Einstein, Fermi, Pauling, Watson, and Crick.  I was also accepted to medical school, with a combined masters in neurology.  This is the year I would meet her, after this crazy life, I would find peace in another.  This would be the hardest year.

I was blessed with the ability to do a great many things.  I would write you the most beautiful words, but words mean little to you.  I would sing you the sweetest song, but you have no place for music in your heart.  I would build you through my struggles, but my fight has been so very small to you.  I would draw you a Mona Lisa, but you don't care that I draw.  I would cure any disease for you, find any galaxy, but my mind doesn't stimulate you at all.  I would give my heart to you, but I'm afraid it's not worth much anymore.  Dearest Friend, for whom I've always been searching, you have come and gone so quickly, and I've been searching for so long.  It seems I've missed you.  I hope these words find and touch someone, and that you live long.

Spatter