Thursday, February 26, 2015

016


My Dearest Friend,

It appears we have reached that inevitable point on a timeline that was destined to never reach infinity.  We are at the end.  The bitter, anguished breath that spells a firm goodbye escapes my lips, as I relinquish you of responsibility, so that you may move on without burden.  It must be so, that one of us will not be destroyed, and at least one thing remains pure and clean.   At the price of my being I salvage some small shred of worth from our time.  What I have felt for you will endure into the smallest hours, where it will cover the deepest corners and envelop the slightest nook, and it will saturate all that is in between.  I have lived only to know loss, never experiencing your love, that which I sought with such ferocity.  I have come to know you, and I have come to observe without prejudice.  Tongue of the serpent, heart of the pirate; deception splattered in your eyes, fallacy sprawling in your smile.  You couldn’t change if you wanted to.  You live that you may fill the hole within your soul.  All the pain and suffering in this life and the next could not possibly satiate your hunger.  You move on free of guilt, free of chains, because I do not have the heart to tell you what you are.  I do not have the heart to accept you, that which I love so dearly; your beauty so shallow, and your selfishness so deep.  So I will hide it all away, you will never know that you were the driving force of my misery.  No human being could rival your apathy, you must be the evolution of the future.  You will live a long and joyous life at the cost of those who fall under your spell.  Yet when that final day comes, and you must face He who comes hooded, He who comes to take back that which you owe to the universe, my heart shatters for how you will hurt, knowing everything you have ever achieved has come at the cost of that which cannot be measured in this life.  You will leave this place with grand regret, and I will leave this place the same.  Goodbye, my Dearest Friend, I hope, with all my soul, that I never see you again, and that time may erode your memory as it erodes the river bed.  You have made me lesser, you have taken all that was good in me for yourself, and left me empty.  I don’t know this feeling, I wouldn’t call it love, but I wouldn’t call it hate.  But I will take it to my final moments.  I forgive you, my Dearest Friend.  You will always own my heart.    
Spatter

1 comment:

  1. How it breaks my heart to know your pain. Carry on with fortitude and the strength within you. This too shall pass, you will know love, you will welcome it, embrace it, nurture it and give it your whole self, again and again until it is right.
    This I know, for I have loved and lost, became stronger and have found peace within. Free yourself of anger and hurt for you will know this pain again, it is what life is all about and it is what makes us the people we are. Endure till the end my Son, for love is all around you, get swept up in it and come forth stronger, wiser and a better person for it.

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